Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Left, Right, Left

Some days, when there is SO much going on at work and home, all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and try to not over think it - otherwise, I will never get going.  Being a full-time working mom is not easy, and I didn't expect it to be, BUT the emotions that come with leaving your kid all day long and being so tired at the end of the day it is hard to play with your kid - those are REAL and they are CONSTANT.

Summer is supposed to be all about ice cream trucks, park play dates, craft projects, beach trips, tans, pool time and hanging out with your kids now that school is over.  But what about those parents that work?  Those moms that put their kids in daycare during the summer?  Again, enter guilt.

The flip side is staying home.  I did it for four months when my son was first born, and at month 3, I was ready to return to work.  Again - guilt.  Why don't I relish in every moment with my child? Do I really need adult conversation?  Why don't I feel a sense of accomplishment raising my son like I do when I kill it at work?

I will wake up tomorrow and get at it again.

Left...Right...Left...

3 comments:

  1. Hi Marcie - good to see you blogging. I read this and recognised it so completely that I had to comment as I feel like I could write an essay on this topic!! Firstly - don't fret about the guilt - you'll beat yourself up but in the end you are doing your best and that is enough for your family. It's such a personal thing and no one can comment on what's right or wrong. I too found work a relief when my children were babies and I also felt I was too young to walk away from my job and career. For years I did exactly what you're doing and do you know what? My kids are fine for it and I think for me, it was the best thing. Summer months always did sting a bit as I'd see my peers taking their kids out, but then come winter when the weather was not so kind, I would whizz off to work knowing they would be struggling to fill a day, stuck inside when it's raining.

    I guess the thing is, you have to ask yourself what works for you and keep asking that through good times and bad. I think it's a fallacy that women love every second with their children, they don't. Sometimes mothers do a better job when they have had a break, even if that break has come through going to work. And as for adult conversation, we all need it!! Don't feel bad about that. It's hard and exhausting caring for children, but the only advice i can give is to check that it works for you and for your family. I spent many years working when it started to not sit so well with family life and there were real consequences for me in terms of my health. Running at a hundred miles an hour day in day out eventually takes its toll. I wish I would have reviewed things sooner and maybe considered time out. However - the bottom line is, we do what we do with the best intentions. Take care and go easy on yourself... Lou x

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  2. Marcie, I've missed you! I have no doubt that you're a phenomenal mom -- none at all. I wish I could offer any advice or words of wisdom, but all I can say is that your little angel is so, so lucky to have you.
    xo Josie

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  3. Ah guilt, something I know too well. Dreading returning to work next month, but I'm feeling KINDA ready

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