Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Marriage Maintenance


I recently had lunch with a good friend and our conversation got me thinking, how do you maintain your marriage/relationship, especially during the time when things aren't particularly good or bad? The time when things just are? I've written here about the butterfly effect when it comes to dating and the early days of marriage. We all know that marriage (or any long-term relationship) takes work, especially when solving a major conflict or problem. But what about all the other times in your marriage; the time long after the newness has faded and when no major problem is taking center stage? What do you do with this time?

Unfortunately, many people go into autopilot and merely exist. During this time, however, it is critical to consciously "maintain" what you have and solidify your relationship's foundation. During your marriage maintenance, it is key to either keep the positive momentum going or create it, depending on where you are at that give time, and make your relationship worth it. I italicize this because when you leave the house, it is important to know the value of what you have at home, and you want your spouse to do the same. Temptation is everywhere, and it is not going away. Temptation is not limited to infidelity either. It includes anything that strains your marriage, for example, a busy career. Properly maintaining your marriage is the best defense against the outside world that leads to so many bad marriage statistics (especially here in California).

What, if anything, do you do to properly maintain your marriage/relationship?

8 comments:

  1. Marriage is a tricky thing! I think it's also good to acknowledge that there will always be highs and lows and no marriage is perfect. My husband and I will forever do date night and Sunday is family day. Even though we don't have kids- but little dogs. We turn off the tv/cell phone and enjoy a day together.

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  2. I love this post today. I have a friend who is going through a tough time in her marriage, and is always coming to me to talk or ask for advice!! today's post is an inspiration!!

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  3. This was just what I needed to read today. Being keenly in touch with "the value of what you have at home" is so, so key.

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  4. Such a great post! I just did a guest post today about how to keep romance alive and it was on the more frivolous side but this really gets to the guts of it. Love it :) xoxo

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  5. This is awesome, Marcie. And you are right. Such a great compliment to today's post over on my blog. You hit the nail on the head with the temptation part; especially relating to a busy career. I know your readers will love this advice :) Xo

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  6. What a great post, Marcie! I believe in date nights, holding hands, leaving sweet notes around the house for each other, mid-day phone calls, annual vacations (if possible), spending quality time together, and spending some time apart (even if it's just reading a book in the next room). I also believe in constant open communication about everything. Just like you said, it takes work. And what you get out of it depends on what you put into it, like anything else.

    xo
    Val

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  7. Great post. I am about to get married in three weeks and I am so excited and can't wait for this new beginning. I am not nervous at all because I feel that we are a good fit. We both try and put effort into our relationship which makes us have a good relationship,but so many of my friends are not so lucky. I think they have gone into the autopilot stage and hate see that.

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  8. Ugh wait until you add kids. Talk about trouble maintaining a relationship! We are still battling through this

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